Thinking from the Outside, In Options

[alansforums]

Whether I’m talking to people in this profession about building relationships, providing value, or networking, I’m always asked, “Yes, but HOW?” You may think that’s a fair question, but I’m not so sure.
It’s too easy to mindlessly demand, “Okay, I agree, just tell me HOW!” I believe everyone needs to think about this with some diligence and discipline. You have to arrive at the “how” yourself. After all, my “how” may be impossible or imbecilic or implausible to you.
But here’s a hint: Ask yourself what would impress YOU. That is, start thinking from the outside, in, not the inside, out.
We tend to think about what we can do for the other person or, worse, what we can do to the other person. Instead, we need to start thinking as if we’re the other person.

Self-discovery

Why have you:
• Trusted someone rapidly, even upon first meeting?
• Immediately purchased a service you had not known you needed?
• Enjoyed being in a colleague’s company?
• Changed your mind about a firmly held belief?
• Taken a call or responded to a letter from someone unknown prior?
• Responded enthusiastically to a new idea?
• Allowed someone to take an hour of your time?
• Agreed to, or even requested, additional meetings and time?
I could go on. Look to your own history and determine when, where, how, and why you were persuaded, changed, or comforted.
I purchased a time share which I vowed I never would buy when the salesperson demonstrated the value of renewed family time together, with vacations being the vehicle. I placed an order for an expensive car, undriven and sight unseen, because there were terrific reviews in the press and it catered to my ego. I will take the time to talk to someone who challenges me intellectually and/or has a great sense of humor. I trust people who do what they say and don’t make excuses. I respond better to people who are professionally dressed and groomed and know how to use their silverware properly at a meal.
You get the idea. I try to adapt these same traits and attributes when I approach anyone whom I want to influence or persuade, and I try to make intelligent assumptions about what else might work, given their unique circumstances. For example, high level executives usually appreciate candor and brevity and strong opinion. People in non-profits appreciate you understanding the different dynamics of non-profits and volunteerism as opposed to for-profit businesses. Entrepreneurs will take risks if the potential benefits are significant, but many middle managers want to minimize risks at all costs.
It’s the old but accurate adage: Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Don’t assume what’s good for you is good for them, but do examine why you’ve made changes so that you may extend analogous benefits to them.

Art and science

Moreover, marketing and selling are not formulaic pursuits where one simply learns the sequential steps, as in turning on a computer. They are more like dancing where, despite knowing the “science” of the steps, you need to have the artistry to make them work. Just asking someone else “how” doesn’t cut it. You have to go out and try it yourself with a partner to real music on a real dance floor.
Similarly, if you don’t have the “artistry” to examine what your prospect might find desirable to forge a relationship, establish trust, accept feedback, and so forth, then you’re never going to dance well. You’re just going through the motions using someone else’s steps.
Use coaches and mentors to determine the “what” of this business, but you must build your own resources to truly master the particular “how” which works well for you, personally. And I believe you do that by identifying what is likely to persuade the buyer from the buyer’s point of view. Your features and benefits don’t do that. You’re being attuned to the buyer’s perspective do.
Since we’re talking about selling business-to-business, this needn’t be a giant leap! The answers are in your own history, the people you meet every day, and the people with whom you have been successful in the past.
The difference between “Would you like to see the photos of my last vacation?” and “May I see the photos of your last vacation” are vast. Everyone loves the sound of his or her own voice, and none of us is immune to that vanity. Encourage the other person, learn what they enjoy, understand their comfort zone.
Most of all, think from their perspective so that, eventually, they can take advantage of yours.



Alan Weiss, Ph.D., is a contributing editor to RainToday.com and has been cited by the New York Post as “one of the most highly respected independent consultants in the country.” His clients include The Federal Reserve Bank, Hewlett-Packard, Mercedes, JP Morgan Chase and over 200 similar world-class organizations. He has written 25 books which appear in 7 languages. He conducts a global mentoring program. You can reach him via his web site: http://www.summitconsulting.com.