Many people talk about "authenticity," which I have to admit I have trouble understanding in terms of people. If you're "inauthentic" are you some kind of Star Trek cyborg? I've heard of "empty suits," but I think that refers to something else.
The fascinating aspect for me is that so there is so much preaching about "authenticity," and not enough on self-absorption.
There are two women who work out at different times in the gym where I visit my personal trainer. Both of them talk only about themselves. As one of my other gym friends said, "She's known me for two years and doesn't even know that I have two children." From the time they walk in, to the time they leave, it's all about them, often in the decibel level of a smoke alarm.
I heard one of them asked if she knew the other woman. "Oh, Greta?" she asked, "Isn't she the one who is so into herself?"
You can't make this stuff up.

Enough about me, what do you think about me?

When you're trying to close business, I'd advise you to leave the self-absorption at home. The buyer really doesn't care about your latest accolade, or your kid's trophy, or your soccer coaching prowess. The buyer cares about how his or life is going to be improved after you've been hired, implemented, and departed. Is the residue of your visit positive?
That includes one-ups-man-ship. (Sorry, but "person-ship" doesn't work for me.) If the client has been to Italy, don't bemoan the fact that the buyer "missed Venice," which you think is the best part of the country. If the buyer just got a good deal on a new car, don't brag that you got one under invoice. Trying to outdo the other person is just one facet on the stone of self-absorption.
Take a look at your collateral material, web site, blog, newsletter, as well as your conversation. Do you tend to emphasizes client results, or your own success? Do you focus on client achievement or your methodology? Do you have testimonials explaining how much people have improved, or merely extolling how good you are?
What would you think of two people who purchased Starbuck's coffee and then carried the cups into a diner to order breakfast and eat at the counter? Don't laugh, I've seen the same two do it twice on our Main Street, here. Would you bring your own food to a restaurant, or your own lighting so someone's party?
Why would you bring your own ego to a prospect or client?

Being an object of interest

If you want to be fascinating to a buyer, don't talk about yourself, talk about him or her. Don't provide credentials, provide value. Behind every business objective is a personal objective. What's in if for them?
Ironically—perhaps counterintuitively—you're most interesting when you help others. I'm an introvert who has been called a "brilliant conversationalist" because I've simply asked a question or two and then sat and listened for 30 minutes. If most people love the sound of their own voices, why not make it a happier world for them?
In the sales and marketing business, you have to "give to get." That is, you have to offer value, improvement, results, worth, ROI, and so on. That which you give has to have a short-term, salutary effect on the buyer. Hence, it can't be a credential or 10-step methodology. It can't be negative, nor the degrading of someone else.
You're most fascinating when you make the other person fascinating and keep them talking. A not insignificant by-product of this approach is that I've found I can't learn much while I'm speaking. But I can learn a heck of a lot while I'm listening.
Whenever someone approaches me with a "canned" presentation, with PowerPoint®, with a script, with any kind of physical demonstration, I recoil. That's because I know it's not personalized for me, it's going to take a lot of my time, and they're going to "present," whereby I'd rather ask a few quick questions. As the buyer, I'd rather ask and get responses than sit and listen to a presentation.

Tuck away your ego

If you want to make it big, worry about and address the buyer's concerns and the buyer's condition—his or her future state. If you can demonstrate short-term value, the implication for longer-term improvement will be apparent. Don't bring in a personality that is so "into itself."
And don't bring in your own coffee.

© Alan Weiss 2009 All rights reserved.

Alan Weiss, Ph.D. probably has the strongest independent consulting brand in the country, and maybe beyond. He is the author of 32 books appearing in 9 languages. His newest is The Talent Advantage (with Nancy MacKay) from Wiley. He runs the unique Million Dollar Consulting® College three times a year. He has won dozens of writing and consulting awards and is a member of the Professional Speaking Hall of Fame.® Contact him at http://www.summitconsulting.com, or his blog, http://www.contrarianconsulting.com.