In Milwaukee, there are signs all over that say "yield to pedestrian in crosswalk." So you'll see pedestrians just step out into a crosswalk with traffic flying past, figuring it's the car's job to see them and stop.

My driver education instructor said something decades ago that's stuck with me. "Nobody ever *has* the right-of-way. In many situations, people are expected to *yield* the right-of-way. You should be prepared in case they don't."

It's low self-esteem and a pretense of having power. "I'm going to make this driver stop by stepping into the crosswalk whenever I like." That person will be right in the law, but just as dead as if he'd been dead wrong.

Hold on. Alan, if they are clueless, would they even understand what having power looks like?

I heard an Irish comedian recently who had just written a book that is called something like "How to Spot a Gobshite."

Some of the questions you'd ask yourself:

Are others frequently mad at this person?

Does this person often say, "How was I supposed to know?"

I don't know if cluelessness and gobshiteness are synonyms, but the smart money is on that conclusion.

One of my physics teacher's favorite expressions:

"Right of Mass kicks Right of Way's ass"

Boil it all down: The clueless are hopelessly self-absorbed, and this has become a self-absorbed, selfish world, ironically not due to bold egos but weak ones.

On 10/29/2025 at 2:54 PM, Linda Henman said:

I don't know if cluelessness and gobshiteness are synonyms, but the smart money is on that conclusion.

Yep, pretty much synonyms!

During intermission at the ballet, their business manager has come to my seat to ask for some advice, and a woman simply steps in and asks her to identify someone across the room. While doing bicep curls in front of a mirror at the gym a woman simply walks in front of me, forcing me to stop, to return some weights to the rack. I give her a look and she says, "Oh, well, EXCUSE ME!" 

These are the people who don't pull their legs back in the theater to allow others to pass in front of them because they feel it's demeaning for them and would further damage their inferiority beliefs. And then there are all those boring morons who feel the person in front of them on the plane doesn't have the right to recline in a seat they purchased and is equipped to recline.

These are not signs of high self-worth, but rather feeling inadequate and subordinated.

23 hours ago, Alan Weiss said:

And then there are all those boring morons who feel the person in front of them on the plane doesn't have the right to recline in a seat they purchased and is equipped to recline.

Actually saw this on a flight yesterday where a hostess had to explain to one of these people that the woman in front was fully entitled to recline her seat during the cruising part of the flight. 

You know they sell devices to put on your tray table to prevent the seat in front from reclining? This is the prototypical act of an inferior  personality, feeling someone else exercising a right everyone has is oppressing them. It's why people won't take turns merging on the roads: They feel inferior when someone else goes ahead of them.

I see this in assessments all the time. I can spot an exaggerated need for control almost immediately. These are the people who micromanage and have a "my way or the highway" attitude.

I've been tempted to ask, "Which of your parents was a drinker?" as this high need for control almost always has its foundation in childhood.  With an alcoholic parent, the child often felt helpless when dad got drunk on Christmas Eve and ruined it for everyone. I also see it in those who have PTSD. At some time trauma scared them, and they spend the rest of their lives trying to get some control back.

More than once I've referred people to the ACOA literature (Adult Children of Alcoholics). It helps people understand why they are the way they are, which is often the first step in changing behavior.

But as you point out, Alan, some people are just tremendously insecure, but that too often has its roots in childhood. Insecure adults raise insecure children, and the beat goes on.

Well said, Linda. This is why therapy often doesn't work for some people. If you're terribly insecure you will resist someone probing that feeling, like resisting rubbing salt into an open sore. And you get very good at creating blame. "My boss was a monster," "My parents favored my sister," "the government sucks."